Are you acting in self love or self hate?

In this 8th episode of the Live Life Keto Podcast, Jennifer discusses self love and self hate.  Which are you acting in on your weight loss journey?  Tune in to find out.

(00:00)
Hey there and welcome to the live life keto podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer Banz after living my entire life obese. I finally figured out how to actually stick to keto so I could lose the weight. And I know you can do it too. If you're ready, I'm here to help. So let's go. Before I dive into today's content, I want to make sure you have taken my free seven day keto challenge and the challenge I tell you, everything you need to do to lose weight with keto, it's completely free. So all you need to do to sign up is go to Jennifer banz.com. That's J E N N I F E R B A N Z.com. Now let's start the show. Hey guys. Welcome back on today's episode. We're going to be talking about self-love and it, you may not think that it's important to have self-love whenever you are on your keto journey or a weight loss journey.

(01:14)
But let me tell you self-love is one of the most important things, most important things to work on while you're losing weight. Because if you are not losing weight from self-love, if you're losing weight from self hate, you're not going to be successful. Your weight loss has to come from self-love. So self-love, it's a term it's been thrown around a lot lately on social media. I'm really glad about that because I don't know about you. I grew up in the nineties, surrounded by magazines, supermodels with perfect bodies. Everyone on TV was perfect. Perfect teeth. Perfect boobs. Perfect abs perfect bodies. Every aspect of their body was perfect. Everyone was a beautiful model. They had zero cellulite and that is how we thought we were supposed to look. Thankfully. Now we are seeing more and more companies and magazines are starting to really normalize what real bodies look like.

(02:35)
They're in the magazines. They are portraying real people. It's not all blonde tall, skinny with big boobs and big butts. It's becoming more and more normal to see normal people, people that you see everyday, because I don't know about you, but when you walk around in a store or if you go to a water park with your kids, most of the people, 99%, I would say 99.9% of the people there have normal bodies. They're not tall. They're not, or they might be tall, but they're not tall, thin blonde with big boobs and big butts, you know? But so why I'm not going to go into why that has been deemed what the perfect body is supposed to be. It's because that was what was thrown in our faces. As we were growing up, we know why, why that happened and now we know better. So we're doing better.

(03:40)
We can't, you know, we're not going to be mad at all of the people from the nineties who were projecting that onto us. They were doing it to sell products and that's that, but now we know better. We're doing better and companies are doing better, but a lot of women in some men who grew up in that era still have that perfect image embedded into their brain. This is how a perfect body should be. And I'm not perfect. I don't have that body. I have loose skin. I have, um, uh, fat. I have fat thighs. I have chubby ankles and my boobs are not perky. I have to, you know, I have, I've had kids, so they, they need a bra. And so now I'm, I'm left with this body. That is not how I think it should supposed to be. And then we look in the mirror and we hate our body.

(04:51)
And a lot of it is also, we are, you know, we have the magazines and the movies and the TV shows are getting better, but it's still not as good as it could be. We still put these people on a pedestal, these rich celebrities with perfect bodies. I'm thinking J-Lo hello and who have personal trainers. And they look incredible. I'm not knocking J-Lo. She looks fricking incredible. She is, I will you, one thing you will never, ever, ever hear me do is knock another woman. I'll tell you right now that woman has worked her off. I mean, she hasn't worked her off because she's still got a nice one, but you will never hear me put down another woman or, or on any kind of social media or on my podcast. I don't do that ever. So whenever I post something positive about someone like Chrissy, Tiegen, who I love, or J-Lo who I love or Miley Cyrus, who I love.

(06:04)
And then I get messages from women who are angry, that I'm, um, celebrating another woman, putting down another woman only because you are doing it out of self hate. When you love yourself, you can right. Look at another woman who you admire or who you think looks better than you has more money than you. And you can be really like, dang, look at her. She is killing it. That is what I want to hear. The messages that I want to hear coming out of my mouth. You'll never, you'll never hear me putting down another woman. I'll never put down another woman, woman in front of my daughter. I will never teach her hating on other women ever. And I really think that that is coming from self-love because I can look at these other women and I can be appreciative of what, um, how, you know, they are, what they're doing for themselves.

(07:10)
They're putting themselves out there on social media. They're getting so much hate because of the way they look, because they're deemed having, you know, perfect bodies or whatever, or because of the money they've got. And I think that what they're doing, they worked really hard for, and they should be congratulated because they're women. And they, you know, they've been through a lot because they're a woman to get through in an industry like it is, you know, like the, um, celebrity industry is. So anyway, that was kind of a tangent, but of why I will never, ever put down another woman. Um, because I did, I did a video on, I made one of Chrissy Teagan's recipes, and man, this is, this podcast is going to be all over the place we started with self-love. But this all comes from here. Self-love the self love I have for myself.

(08:10)
Anyway, I did a video of one of Chrissy Teagan's recipes because I, I'm not going to be ashamed to say I love her. I think she's fantastic. She is. She's, you know, I just think she's funny and she's smart and she's doing, she's doing all these things, I think is great. She's gone through a lot, especially recently, I feel so, you know, I feel, I feel so incredibly, like, sorry, for any woman, that's had to go through the loss of a child because I've never had to experience that. And I just could not imagine how, how horrible that would be. So I have a lot of compassion for her, but for that, you know, I don't know, a year and a half or so ago, I made video of a, one of her recipes and I shared it on YouTube. And I literally got messages from old ladies telling me that they're unfollowing me because I, um, am celebrating some foul.

(09:14)
They literally called her a foul mouth woman, as well as apparently women aren't supposed to, aren't allowed to cuss. Only men can cuss. So I wonder curious if I had shared a recipe from Gordon Ramsey, if they would have sent me the same message. I mean, you know, I was just really curious about that, but anyway, you'll never see me put another woman down and that comes from self-love. I appreciate when I can, when you can look at another woman or anyone on social media and you, you can't, or if you can't look at another woman on social media and not feel bad for yourself, am I saying that right? If you can look at another woman and not feel bad for yourself, but actually feel good for them and congratulate them and aspire get inspiration from them instead of putting them down, that is self-love, that's a form of self-love you you're loving yourself.

(10:19)
And you know that with, with determination hard work you're you can aspire to be just like them. So it wasn't always like that. For me, this has been, uh, you know, recent. I used to look in the mirror and, and hate what I saw and not granted I have lost weight, but I still have, you know, I have loose skin. I have cellulite. I still have all of those things. Really. The only thing that's changed with my body, if I were to look in the mirror is that it's shrunk, but there's still the bumps. There's still the, you know, the things that, that we hate when we look in the mirror, but I look at it now and I look at my body and I have decided that no matter what, if I look in the mirror, I will love my body no matter what, because my body carries me is done really good for me.

(11:15)
It has never let me down. So I look in the mirror and I love my body no matter what. And I want to tell you that you can decide right now to love your body, no matter what, even if you're just beginning your weight loss journey, you can decide right now that you will never say one bad thing about your body ever again, you have that power. You can decide right now to look in the mirror and love what you see. No matter what, when you make decision that you will love yourself, no matter what, and it's coming, you've got this, the self-love self-empowerment, you're looking at your body or like, I'm looking good. I love my legs. They carry me. They work. I'm so happy that I can actually walk. I have these arms. They're perfect. They carry my children and they, they work and I can actually use them because there's some people that don't have that, um, that luxury.

(12:30)
And there's some people that don't have the luxury to walk. So I think about stuff like that. And I think about how someone who could be severely overweight and how they would kill for a body for my body. And that's the kind of stuff that I think about when I think about my body and how we have been shown over decades, what the ideal body is. And that those people are probably less than 1% of the population in the entire world. And we are aspiring to be, we are all the other 99% of the people in the world are all aspiring to be just like these other 91% of the population. When we can decide right now to love our body, no matter what. So when you are on you want to lose weight and you think right now, you're thinking when I lose my weight, I will love myself.

(13:39)
When I lose my weight and I'm thin, and my, then my body will be perfect and I will then love myself. My life will be perfect. I will be happy. And that's when I will have self-love. But that is not how it works. Because when you, you're going to realize when you lose the weight, you're going to get to your goal weight. You're going to have loose skin potentially more than likely. You're still going to have cellulite. You're going to have saggy boobs. You're going to have bat wing arms. And, and then you're going to be like, well, what the hell? I've lost all of this weight. My body's not perfect. What am I going to do now? And then we get all down on ourselves depressed. And we S since, and if you are lost your weight without dealing with your emotional eating, without realizing why you emotionally eat is just, you're just going to gain it back.

(14:43)
But if you decide right now to love your body, no matter what, and you can, you can decide right this minute, it's literally just a decision that you can make right now. I will love my body no matter what, when you come from that place. And all of a sudden, now you love every thing that you see when you look in the mirror. Well, now that you love your body, well, how are you going to treat it with love and respect? You're going to love your body enough to feed it. Nutritious foods to exercise. That is what self love is. So don't fall into the trap of losing weight because you hate your body. It never works. You have to love yourself first, no matter what, you have to look in the mirror and love everything about yourself. Only then will you be able to treat your body with respect and love it all of the way to your goal weight.

(15:49)
Then when you get to your goal weight, you come from a place of self-love. You're still loving yourself. Every inch of yourself. Every time you look in the mirror, you realize that no matter what your body looks like, you can be happy. You have everything you need. Your body is perfect. Just the way it is. Whether you are overweight or at your goal weight, you have the ability to love yourself no matter what. So I, I want to go off on a different, um, tangent kind of, and I know that there's a lot of people out there, or there's a community out there of women who think that if you want to change your body, if you want to lose weight, then you don't love yourself, but that's just not true. Loving your body is healing your body. Not to say that your body is broken, but you, when you have self-love, when you're coming from self-love, you will do the things to your body to show your body love.

(16:59)
So, yeah, I think that self loving your body, no matter what goes hand in hand with, okay, I love my body no matter what. And now I'm going to treat my body with the most respect. I'm going to treat it like it's a temple and I'm going to eat nutritious foods. And I'm going to exercise because I love my body. I think that's where the differences we think. Or some people think that we can't love our body and want to change our body. But when you come from self-love, everything changes. So let me tell you what self-love is not. We have this misconception that they're self love or self care. You know what a lot of people throw out their self care that, you know, I should, I'm gonna sit on the couch and eat Oreos. That self care that self-love, eh, that's questionable, depends on how many you eat, honestly, because if you're going to sit there and eat a whole pack of Oreos, you got some, you got some underlying, emotional eating issues still to work on, and that's okay. A lot of us do, but just realize that that is not self care. That's not, it's not really self-love in my opinion, I might be wrong. I'm often wrong. And I'm always welcome to, um, opinions, but I can't think of any situation where eating a whole box of Oreos is self-love. I just can't think of one. So guys, that's all I've got for you today. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next week.